


J███ Egbert*   *(working title)

by ArchmageIsACat



Series: Heir Transfected [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Dubious Morality, F/F, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Meta, Post-Canon, Retcon, Trans Female Character, Trans Female Terezi Pyrope, Trans John Egbert, post-epilogue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-22
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-10-25 19:03:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20729219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArchmageIsACat/pseuds/ArchmageIsACat
Summary: John Egbert died, killed by a narrative poison and an antagonistic twunk, yet he's woken up as if it didn't even happen.  What force saved him from this death, and why does he feel removed from his own existence?





	1. what the hell is this.

the floor is cold.

no, it’s the bed. your bed, clowns and insults deface his posters, you’re laying on top of the sheets.

or, no, that’s not, you were in the car. its unseasonably warm for a vehicle floating through nothing. a blind… blinding woman is above you. a t34l t34r floats from her face to you, down, from h3r p3rsp3ct1v3.

  
  


no, its almost definitely cold. these rocks really aren’t all that comfortable a place to wait for your friends.

but you’re with your friends. your sister sent you and dave down here just a few minutes before and. 

no

you weren’t there for that one

here for this one

unraveling

you were stabbed, but you’re fine. you unraveled yourself into wind. Rose is waving at you from a rock. you’re in a dream bubble.

you stuck your arm in that house. you feel fuzzy. unfocused.

unraveled.

the breeze

retcon

a tooth

Stabbed

unraveling

unraveled

unravel

unstuck

stuck

trapped

you reach out   
you hold up your hands and form a rectangle with your fingers and reach outside yourself, outside canon, to the place your retcon powers come from. you focus. you strain. you contemplate with all your might a place you can zap to, any place but here.

you wait and wait and wait and...

nothing happens.

anchored

its an anchor

cold

unravel.

-> unravel

  
  


you open your eyes, or, you think you do. you sit up and, wow that makes it way easier to see. despite the cold, metal surroundings of the room, everything feels vibrant. you stand up and stretch, though the sound of popping joints does not come. odd. you turn and look to see where you were just lay-

oh.

are 

am i

you reach down to feel for a pulse, but your hand passes through. for a brief moment you feel the breeze in his body, then a flash of scenes. things you were present for. things you weren’t present for. things other you’s did. a tattoo and a mohawk? what the fuck were you thinking? the scenes flash by faster and faster, engulfing you with you, you feel hot. the room is definitely cold but you feel like you’ve been stuck in a foundry and left to melt. there’s sound everywhere and everything that has ever happened to you or will ever happen to any you floods into you. a blue light begins faintly and then starts to grow brighter, hotter, the retcon powers you gained all those years ago are bubbling up again and you fear for the first time in years that you don’t have control of these powers again, that you may zap somewhere you can’t come back from. you scream and yank back with all the force you can, and you flip back into the wall.

the light dissipates and the heat subsides. the visions subside for the most part but linger in the back of your mind as a sense of dread, like something bigger than you lies just outside your awareness. you suppose investigating your body can wait. you rise from the floor and exit the room, and wander the halls of… wherever you are.

you float down the hall, past doors and signs, you aren’t sure where you’re headed, but the dread seems to fade as you move on. you round a corner and find a room with a robot and a glass case with… is that Rose? You rush into the room, towards the case Rose seems to be on display in, and reach through the glass. You hesitate, wondering if trying to touch rose will result in the same flashes as before, but then again, those were visions of other versions of you, so perhaps it was just that it was your body that caused it. Maybe you could try waking her first. You focus the air in the case, trying to will the breeze to disturb her sleep. No response. You decide to go ahead and touch her anyways, you can’t guarantee the same thing won’t happen again, but you have to try to reach her somehow. Your hand passes into her body and you prepare for the worst.

Nothing. That can’t be right. You try to will the breeze to act again. Nothing. You begin to cry. You’re getting desperate and nothing’s working. You remember that when you tried to touch yourself, you felt your retcon abilities activating, maybe that’s the key. You reach out one last time, moving the breeze throughout the case once more and focusing on your retcon powers in tandem, and everything goes white. 

Home <|  Read |  Info <|  Shop |  Games <|  News |  More

  
  


**Homestuck**

A young ███ stands in ███ bedroom. It just so happens that today, the 13th of April, 2009, is this young ███s birthday. Though it was thirteen years ago ██ was given life, it is only today ██ will be given a name!

What will the name of this young ███ be?

>  ** Enter Name. **

What the fuck is this shit.

No seriously what the hell am I looking at. 

That’s John in that gif. I mean, that’s me in that gif. Is this a fucking website? Do Rose’s powers let her use the fucking internet? Why the fuck is there a website that’s focused around your life? This is all so incredibly goddamn invasive what the actual fuck. What else is on here?   
I click on read.

Home <|  Read |  Info <|  Shop |  Games <|  News |  More

  
  


**MS PAINT ADVENTURES WEBCOMICS**

**THE HOMESTUCK**

**EPILOGUES**

Tales of dubious authenticity.

LOG |  SEARCH

  
  


**HOMESTUCK**

A tale about a ███ and ███ friends and a game they

play together. About 8,000 pages. Don’t say we

didn’t warn you.

MAP |  LOG |  SEARCH

  
  


**PROBLEM SLEUTH**

An adventure about a hard boiled detective in his 

office. About 1,700 pages.

MAP |  LOG |  SEARCH |  SCIENCE FAQ

  
  


**BARD QUEST**

A young bard’s endeavor to slay some dragons.

Branching “choose your own adventure” style. 82

pages.

LOG |  SEARCH

  
  


**JAILBREAK**

A guy tries to escape from prison. 134 pages.

LOG |  SEARCH

  
  


**SWEET BRO AND HELLA**

**JEFF**

it keeps happening. ??? pages

SEARCH

  
  


Oh. My god.

This is such bullshit.

I click through more and check out every couple of pages and it only pisses me off more.

What the shit is any of this? Dirk is a comic book villain and used vague narrative powers to kill me? He and some alternate version of Callie argued over who got to narrate Terezi fucking me? He’s trans phobic to Roxy and Callie? I can’t even tell what the fuck that other timeline is! Why the hell would Vriska even fuck Gamzee that’s so fucking… AUGH!

I need to see what else is on this Rose mind internet browser thing. I remember her whole “truth essentiality relevance” mumbo jumbo, maybe there was some kinda site that had like, fanfiction of us or something.

I spend the next few hours scouring the internet, looking at various content about me and my friends. I’m about to get to fan theories but suddenly a voice catches me off guard and startles me out of my search.

TEREZI: H3Y 3GB3RT, WH4T 4R3 YOU DO1NG 1N ROS3’S MIND  
JOHN: holy sh1t t3r3z1!   
JOHN: you n34rly g4v3 m3 4 h34rt 4tt4ck.  
TEREZI: 1 DON’T TH1NK TH4T’S POSS1BL3 R1GHT NOW JOHN  
TEREZI: SP34K1NG OF  
TEREZI: HOW TH3 FUCK 4R3 YOU H3R3 R1GHT NOW  
TEREZI: 1 L34V3 YOUR CORPS3 ON TH3 B3DROOM FLOOR FOR ON3 S3COND 4ND SUDD3NLY YOU’R3 4L1V3 4ND NOT SO W3LL 4ND 4PP4R3NTLY LOOK1NG 1NTO YOUR FR13ND’S M1NDS OR SOM3 SH1T

you bl1nk 4 f3w t1m3s b3for3 sp34k1ng.

JOHN: you m34n 1’m not d34d?  
TEREZI: W3LL L3T’S S33  
TEREZI: YOUR 3Y3S DON’T SM3LL BL4NK  
TEREZI: 4ND TH3 DR34M BUBBL3S GOT FUCK3D  
TEREZI: 4ND YOU C4N ST1LL COMM4ND THOS3 Z4PPY POW3RS  
TEREZI: WH4T DO YOU TH1NK 3GBUTT  
TEREZI: WH4TS W1TH TH3 M1M1CRY BY TH3 W4Y  
JOHN: wh4t do you m34n?  
TEREZI: 1’M FL4TT3R3D TH4T YOU’V3 GOT 1T B4D 3NOUGH FOR M3 TO P1CK UP MY QU1RK, BUT 1’D R4TH3R NOT H4V3 TH1S CONV3RS4T1ON B3 4NY W31RD3R TH4N 1T 4LR34DY 1S  
JOHN: 1’m not copy1ng your qu1rk t3r3z1 1- oh, 1 gu3ss 1 4m huh?  
JOHN: 1’m sorry t3r3z1, 1’m st1ll k1nd4 d1sor13nt3d.  
JOHN: 1 don’t r34lly know wh4t’s go1ng on oth3r th4n th4t d1rk 1s 4pp4r3ntly c4rtoon1shly v1ll41nous, h3 us3d th3 n4rr4t1v3 to k1ll m3, 4nd 1 gu3ss w3’r3 4ll ch4r4ct3rs 1n 4 w3bcom1c?  
JOHN: 4nd now 1’m fuck1ng 4str4l proj3ct1ng or som3th1ng 4nd 1 c4n’t go b4ck to my body b3c4us3 1t f33ls hott3r th4n h3ll 1n th3r3 4nd 1 s33 t1m3.  
TEREZI: 1’LL L3T 1T SL1D3 FOR NOW, 1 GU3SS  
TEREZI: FOR NOW W3 N33D TO F1GUR3 OUT WH4T’S GO1NG ON W1TH YOU  
TEREZI: L3T’S GO T4K3 4 LOOK 4T YOUR BODY, M4YB3 1 C4N H3LP YOU G3T B4CK 1NTO YOU 34S13R

you follow 4ft3r h3r, 1n hop3s th4t h3r gu3ss 1s r1ght.


	2. gee, terezi, how come your lusus lets you have gender?

thoughts d4nc3 through your h34d 4s th3 two of you mov3 down th3 h4lls of th3 sh1p. you wond3r why t3r3z1 would just go 4long w1th d1rk, 1f sh3 1nt3nd3d on h3lp1ng h1m w1th th1s fuck3d up r3l3v4ncy qu3st or 1f sh3 just w4nt3d 4nyth1ng to do 4t 4ll 4nd th1s w4s th3 f1rst off3r1ng 1n th3 h3lp w4nt3d s3ct1on 1n th3 p4p3rs. sur3 sh3 h4d th4t conv3rs4t1on w1th d1rk 4nd h3 pl4y3d to h3r f33l1ngs for you but l1k3, th4t c4n’t b3 1t, r1ght? you 4r3n’t th4t 1mport4nt to h3r, you c4n’t b3, you’r3 just som3 d3pr3ss3d s1lly boy, 4nd d1dn’t sh3 l1k3, 3xpl1c1tly l34v3 you 1nstruct1ons to t3ll h3r sh3 d1dn’t n33d “h1m”? wh4t 1f th4t w4sn’t 4bout d4v3 or k4rk4t l1k3 you thought 4t th3 t1m3 4nd sh3’d 4ctu4lly us3d h3r m1ndy t1m3l1n3 w4tch1ng pow3rs to s33 1nto th3 futur3 up unt1l now 4nd sh3 w4s t3ll1ng h3rs3lf sh3 d1dn’t n33d you? you’r3 prob4bly just som3 k1nd4 h4t3 fl1ng for h3r 4nd noth1ng 3ls3, th3r3 h4s to b3 som3 oth3r r34son sh3 c4m3 h3- sh3 stopp3d.

t3r3z1 1s scowl1ng 4t you.

JOHN: d1d 1 do som3th1ng wrong?  
TEREZI: >:|  
JOHN: 1s th1s 4 w31rd fl1rt1ng thing?  
TEREZI: >:[  
JOHN: you'r3 not r34lly g1v1ng m3 much to go on h3r3.  
TEREZI:   
JOHN:  
TEREZI:  
JOHN:  
TEREZI:  
JOHN: t3r3z1 1t f33ls l1k3 you'r3 m3nt4lly d3c1d1ng wh4t color rop3 you'r3 gonn4 br1ng to my sh1tty 4ss 4lt3rn14n tr14l th4t you'v3 cl34rly st4ck3d 4g41nst m3 j3gus just pl34s3 s4y som3th1ng.  
TEREZI:  
TEREZI: YOU KNOW JUST C4US3 ON3 OF YOUR OTH3R G1RLFR13NDS 4LW4YS H4D 1RONS 1N TH3 F1R3 DO3SN'T M34N 4LL OF TH3M H4V3 4 FUCK1NG PROP3NS1TY FOR 4LW4YS H4V1NG 4 COND3SC3NS1ON'S DOZ3N OF M1ND G4M3S GO1NG ON 4T ONC3   
TEREZI: 1 DON'T JUST FUCK W1TH YOU FOR B3H3MOTH L34V1NGS 4ND SUBJUGGL4TOR HONKS  
TEREZI: DON'T TH1NK FOR 4 S3COND TH4T 1 DON'T G1V3 4 D4MN 4BOUT YOUR SCR4WNY 4SS JUST B3C4US3 YOU'R3 D3PR3SS3D 4ND SOM3HOW YOU'R3 1NF1N1T3LY MOR3 1N YOUR OWN H34D WH3N YOU'R3 L1T3R4LLY OUT OF YOUR OWN H34D

uhh  
huh  
you... gu3ss you k1nd4 d1d just d1sr3g4rd h3r f33l1ngs th3r3 for your own 1ns3cur1t13s, but  
wait.

JOHN: d1d you s4y "oth3r g1rl fr13nds"?  
JOHN: 4s 1n l1k3...  
JOHN: you cons1d3r yours3lf my g1rl fr13nd?  
JOHN: l1k3 w3 4r3n't just 4 fl1ng?  
TEREZI: 1 THOUGHT TH4T W4S OBV1OUS  
TEREZI: WH4T W1TH TH3 M3SS W3 M4D3 1N YOUR F4TH3R-LUSUS'S FOUR WH33L3D MOTOR V3H1CL3  
TEREZI: 4ND TH3 LOV3 CONF3SS1ON  
TEREZI: YOU DON'T H4V3 TO B3 4 M1ND R34D3R, WH1CH 1 4M, TO S33 TH4T  
TEREZI: 4ND YOU D3F1N1T3LY DON'T H4V3 TO B3 ON3 TO NOT D1V3 H34DF1RST 1NTO S3LF H4T3 4BOUT HOW YOU DON'T TH1NK YOU'R3 "1MPORT4NT" 3NOUGH FOR M3 OR OTH3R HORSESHIT L1K3 TH4T  
TEREZI: D1D D1CK'S FUCK3RY DO 4 L4ST1NG NUMB3R ON YOU OR SOM3TH1NG  
JOHN: wh4t?  
JOHN: oh, r1ght.  
JOHN: 1 forgot you c4n...  
JOHN: y34h.  
JOHN: 1... gu3ss 1'v3 4lw4ys b33n l1k3 th1s?  
JOHN: 1  
JOHN: 1 don't th1nk...  
JOHN: d1rk's bullsh1t sp33ch 4bout how l1ttl3 1 m4tt3r prob4bly d1dn't h3lp 4ny.  
JOHN: 1 just don't th1nk 1ts 3v3r b33n 4 consc1ous th1ng r34lly.  
JOHN: 1 th1nk 1 just k1nd4 4lw4ys r3pr3ss3d th3s3 f33l1ngs th3 mom3nt th3y'd com3 up?  
JOHN: 4nd th3n 3v3ry now 4nd th3n 1t'd 4ll just k1nd4... bo1l ov3r.  
JOHN: 4nd 1'd v4gu3 4ll my 1ns3cur1t13s w1th mys3lf by proj3ct1ng on to wh4t 3v3r 1 w4s do1ng or w4tch1ng 4t th3 t1m3.  
JOHN: th4t's 4 b1t dumb, 1sn't 1t?  
JOHN: h4 h4, y34h 1'm k1nd4 stup1d for do1ng th4t.  
JOHN: 3v3ryon3 look 4t 3gb3rt dumbo supr3m3, h4t3s clowns but h3's th3 b1gg3st of th3m 4- OW!  
TEREZI: QU1T 1T JOHN.  
JOHN: sorry.  
JOHN: huh.  
JOHN: 1'm f33l1ng... 4 l1ttl3 uncomfort4bl3 4ll of th3 sudd3n?  
TEREZI: B34R1NG YOUR 4BDOM1N4L S4US4G3S OUT TO OTH3RS C4N OFT3N F33L V3RY UNCOMFORT4BL3  
TEREZI: BUT 1T C4N 4LSO B3 GOOD TO T4LK P3OPL3 4BOUT YOUR 1SSU3S JOHN, 4ND 1T WOULD PROB4BLY H3LP YOU TO DO 1T MOR3 OFTEN  
JOHN: 1 gu3ss.  


you’d r3tr34t to your own m1nd to th1nk 4bout th1s, but you r3m3mb3r th4t you c4n’t 3x4ctly r3tr34t to wh3r3 th3 p3rson you’r3 r3tr34t1ng from c4n just follow you.  
so uh  
you w4nn4 k33p t4lk1ng 4bout th1s t3r3z1?  
you don’t know 1f t4lk1ng 4bout th1s 1n your m1nd w1ll h3lp w1th th3 d1scomfort but you 4t l34st f33l l1k3 do1ng 1t l1k3 th1s w1ll b3 34s13r  
SUR3 TH1NG JOHN, THOUGH DROP TH3 FUCK1NG S3COND TROLL  
wh4t?  
1TS G1V1NG M3 4 H34D4CH3 L1ST3N1NG TO YOU TH1NK TO M3 WH1L3 R3F3RR1NG TO BOTH OF US AS YOU  
SO CUT TH3 S3COND TROLL N4RR4TION WH1L3 YOU’R3 H4V1NG 4 CH4T  
oh yo-1’m uh  
sorry t3r3z1. why don’t w3… 1dk. why don’t you 4sk m3 sh1t 4nd 1’ll r3spond?  
DO YOU W4NT M3 TO PL4Y LOUNG3PL4NK TH3R4P1ST JOHN?  
sur3  


1 sh1ft 4 l1ttl3 4nd w41t for h3r qu3st1ons to st4rt.  


WHY 4R3 YOU 1NT1M1D4T3D BY M3  
1, d1dn’t w3 4lr34dy go through th1s, l1k3 b4ck wh3n 1 w4s dy1ng? 1 lov3 yo   
TH4T M1GHT B3 P4RT OF 1T, BUT NOT 4LL  
w- 1 gu3ss 1t m1ght go b4ck to l1k3, th4t t1m3 you tr13d to k1ll m3? l1k3 m4yb3 1t h4d som3 sort4 r3s1du4l 3ff3ct on m3.  
4R3 YOU 1NT1M1D4T3D BY OTH3R WOM3N?  
1- 1 uh… 3rmmm hmm… 1 th1nk uh...  
my stom4ch do3s 4 f3w fl1ps 4t th4t qu3st1on   
STOM4CH FL1PS 4ND CR4SH1NG THOUGHT TR41NS 4R3 R3SPONS3 3NOUGH  
N3XT QU3ST1ON  
HOW DO YOU F33L 4BOUT YOUR CH1LDHOOD?  
1’m not sur3 4ll th3s3 qu3st1ons 4r3 r34lly r3l3v4nt?  
TH3Y 4R3 4S R3L3V4NT 4S 1 S33 F1T  
fin3. 1 gu3ss 1t w4s ok4y for th3 most p4rt? 1 n3v3r h4d to d34l w1th 4n 4lcohol1c p4r3nt, l1k3 ros3, or 4 phys1c4lly 4nd m3nt4lly 4bus1v3 broth3r, l1k3 d4v3. 3v3n j4d3 h4d 1t wors3 th4n m3, wh4t w1th h3r b31ng r41s3d by 4 god dog 4nd 4 t4x1d3rm13d corps3 of 4 s3n1l3 b1ll1on41r3. my d4d w4sn’t 4ny of thos3 th1ngs, h3 support3d m3 no m4tt3r wh4t, 3v3n wh3n h3 w3nt ov3rbo4rd on clown3ry 1ts only b3c4us3 h3 thought 1 l1k3d th3m, 1ts not l1k3 1 h4v3 much to compl41n 4bout.  
4R3 YOU S4Y1NG YOU H4V3 COMPL41NTS?  
1… m4yb3? but 4ll my fr13nds h4d 1t wors3, 3sp3c14lly 4ny of th3m th4t gr3w up on 4lt3rn14.  
JUST B3C4US3 OTH3R P3OPL3 H4D 1T WORS3 DO3SN’T M34N YOUR F33L1NGS 4R3 1NV4L1D  
sounds f4k3 but ok4y.  
JOHN  
1 s1nk low3r  
1 gu3ss 1 w1sh my d4d would’v3 l1k3, t4lk3d to m3??? h3 4lw4ys d1d h1s b3st to support my 1nt3r3sts but h3 n3v3r 4sk3d wh4t my 1nt3r3sts 4ctu4lly w3r3. h3ll 1’m not 3v3n sur3 1f my 1nt3r3sts 4r3 4ctu4lly my 1nt3r3sts or 1f th3y’r3 just holdov3rs of wh4t3v3r my d4d d3c1d3d to t4k3 up to conn3ct w1th m3 b4s3d on som3 m1nor conv3rs4t1on or 4ct1on 1 d1d or h4d 1n front of h1m. 1 g3t h3 w4s try1ng to b3 support1v3 but h3 w4s l1k3, 4lmost too 4ggr3ss1v3ly support1v3 4nd n3v3r 1n th3 w4ys 1 n33d3d.  
1 TH1NK W3’R3 G3TT1NG SOM3WH3R3  
DO YOU F33L MOR3 4T HOM3 4ROUND YOUR FR13NDS WHO 4R3 G1RLS TH4N YOUR FR13NDS WHO 4R3 BOYS, P3RH4PS 1N 4 W4Y YOU M1GHT R3F3R TO 4S SURROUND1NG YOURS3LF W1TH TH3M?  
why   
why would 1 f33l mor3 4t hom3 4round th3m 1f 1 4lso f33l 1nt1m1d4t3d by th3m? 1… shouldn’t, r1ght? th4t’d b3 4 pr3tty b1g contr4d1ct1on 1 th1nk.  
BUT YOU DO, DON’T YOU?  


P3OPL3 4R3 NOTH1NG 1F NOT CONTR4D1CTORY  
F33L1NGS 4R3 NOTH1NG TO B3 4SH4M3D OF JOHN  
WH1CH T4K3S M3 1NTO MY N3XT QU3ST1ON  
HOW DO3S 1T F33L WH3N 1 C4LL YOU “H3” OR “H1M”  
wh4t?  
HOW DO YOU F33L WH3N 1 C4LL YOU “JOHN”?  
1  
oof  
th4ts  
1s th4t  
why  
t3r3z1 why do 1 f33l b4d  
my ch3st f33ls t1ght why 4m 1 l1k3 th1s  
th1s hurts t3r3z1 1 hurt 4ll ov3r wh4t 1s th1s  
DYSPHOR14  
wh4t  
t3r3z1 do3s th1s  
4m 1  
do3s th1s  
m34n  
1’m…   
g1rl?  
1 TH1NK, 3GB3RT, TH4T YOU M1GHT 1N F4CT B3  
G1RL  
DO3S 1T F33L B3TT3R WH3N 1 C4LL YOU MY “G1RLFR13ND”?  
1… th1nk so? 1 th1nk 1 l1k3 th4t 4 lot?  
th3 t1ghtn3ss 1n my ch3st sl1ps 4w4y 4nd 1ts r3pl4c3d by 4 w4rmth.  
1 gu3ss 1 n3v3r r34lly thought 4bout g3nd3r 4t 4ll.  
do3s this m34n 1’m tr4ns g3nd3r t3r3z1?  
Y3S J███  
how th3 fuck d1d you do th4t w1th your mou- oh r1ght  


TEREZI: 1 C4N DO 1T W1TH MY M███H TOO  


pl34s3 don’t.  
F41R 3NOUGH  
SO 1S TH4T 3NOUGH OF 4 L4ST M1NUT3 TH3R4PY S3SS1ON FOR YOU, OR DO YOU W4NN4 K33P H4V1NG G1RL T4LK?  
1  
1 th1nk 1’m good, y34h.  
how 4r3 you so sm4rt 4bout 4ll th1s g3nd3r stuff?  
HOW DO YOU TH1NK  
oh  
*oh*.  
so, you too?  
Y3S, MY FR3SHLY H4TCH3D 3GGB3RT  
M3 TOO  


sh3 st4nds up slowly, th3n turns 4nd b3g1ns th3 r3st of th3 w4lk to th3 room w1th my body. 1’m… cry1ng, 1 th1nk. but 1’m not sad, 1 f33l good, b3tt3r th4n 1 h4v3 1n… wow 1’v3 n3v3r r34lly f3lt 4ll th4t good huh. 1 f33l l1k3 4 w31ght just d1s4pp34r3d 4nd my t34rs 4r3 just th3 y34rs of bu1lt up str3ss f4ll1ng 4w4y. 1 g3t up from wh3r3 t3r3z1 4nd 1 w3r3 s1tt1ng b3for3 sh3 l34v3s my s1ght 4nd follow h3r 4g41n.  


th3 r3st of th3 w4lk 1s short, 4s t3r3z1 4bruptly turns to m3  


4R3 YOU SUR3 YOU C4N DO TH1S?  
L1K3  
C4N YOU 3V3N GO B4CK 1NTO YOUR BODY?  
1T K1ND4 ST1LL H4S 4 HUG3 FUCK1NG HOL3 1N TH3 M1DDL3  
4ND PROB4BLY 4 SH1T TON OF PO1SON ST1LL  
1 h4v3 to try, 4t l34st.  
W3 DON’T 3V3N H4V3 4 W4Y TO H34L YOU, WH4T 1F YOU GO B4CK 1NTO YOUR BODY 4ND 1T JUST K1LLS YOU  
1 C4N’T L3T  
1 DON’T TH1NK 1 COULD D34L W1TH YOU DY1NG 4G41N  
1 could prob4bly f1gur3 som3th1ng out.  
m4yb3 1 could br1ng th4t l1f3 r1ng h3r3, just 1n c4s3!  
YOU 4R3N’T 3X4CTLY 4 CORPOR34L B31NG R1GHT NOW  
no, but…  
1 th1nk b4ck 4nd l1k3, 1 r3m3mb3r…  
b4ck wh3n 1 r3tconn3d LOW4S out of c4non, 1 d1d th4t w1th th3 br33z3, 4nd 1 w4s th1nk1ng…  
1f 1 c4n s3nd 1nd1v1du4l obj3cts or th3 br33z3 through c4non w1th my pow3rs, why c4n’t 1 l1k3, us3 th3 br33z3 1n t4nd3m w1th my r3tcon pow3rs to br1ng obj3cts 4nd sh1t to m3?  
l1k3 w1thout l34v1ng wh3r3 1 4m?  
1 thought 1 h4d m4st3r3d th3s3 pow3rs, but wh4t 1f my us4g3 w4s only th3 surf4c3?  
TH4T   
1S 4CTU4LLY 4 R34LLY GOOD 1D34  


t3r3z1 op3ns th3 door to th3 room, 4nd w3 mov3 1n. sh3 looks 4t m3 4nd g3stur3s v4gu3ly 4t m3, 4s 1f to s4y “DO TH3 R3TCON TH1NG 4LR34DY”. 1 th1nk b4ck, b4ck to wh3n 1 w4s 4sl33p on th4t gold3n sh1p 4ll thos3 y34rs 4go. th1s t1m3 though, 1 try 4nd st4y ground3d wh3r3 4nd wh3n 1 4m. 1nst34d 1 only mov3 th3 br33z3. 1 mov3 1t 4round th3 r1ng c4r3fully, 4nd th3n th3r3’s 4 z4pp1ng no1s3, follow3d by 4 thud. th3 r1ng 1s s1tt1ng on th3 ground now, just 1n front of t3r3z1.  


HOLY SH1T th4t 4ctu4lly work3d ok4y t3r3z1 could you pl34s3 put th4t on my body 1 c4n’t r34lly touch sh1t r1ght now  
G4Y  
t3r3z1 1’m no- oh 1 gu3ss 1 4m huh. n34t. s3r1ously though pl34s3 put th3 r1ng on m3.  
4LR1GHT  
sh3 p1cks th3 r1ng up off th3 ground 4nd mov3s ov3r to wh3r3 my body 1s on th3 ground, th3n l1fts my h4nd 4nd sl1d3s 1t on to my r1ng f1ng3r.  
th3 color st4rts to r3turn to my sk1n 4nd th3 hol3 1n my body b3g1ns to clos3 up. 1 c4n h34r my br34th1ng st4rt 4g41n 4nd th3n t3r3z1 looks b4ck 4t m3.  


TEREZI: GO ON, G3T 1N  


1 mov3 ov3r by t3r3z1 4nd l34n ov3r mys3lf.  
h-h3y, would you m1nd hold1ng my h4nd wh1l3 1 do th1s?  
sh3 mov3s h3r h4nd to m4tch wh3r3 1’m hold1ng m1n3, 4s b3st 4s sh3 c4n 4nyways, 4nd th3n 1 mov3 my oth3r h4nd 1nto my body. th3 v1s1ons r3turn 4g41n, though f4r l3ss ov3rwh3lm1ng th1s t1m3, 4nd th3 burn1ng from b3for3 1s gon3. 1 c4n s33 4ll of m3. th3 v1s1ons cl34r out 1n t1m3 4nd 1’m 1n 4 pl4c3 wh3r3 th3 ground h4s 4 soft glow, 4nd th3 sky 1s 3ndl3ss d4rk. my feet m4k3 mut3d humm1ng thuds 4s 1 mov3 forw4rd. 1 w4lk for 4 f3w m1nut3s unt1l 1 com3 to two g14nt sho3s, 34ch 4s t4ll 4s m3. th3y’r3 4 mut3d y3llow, 4s 1f som3on3 turn3d th31r v4lu3 down to 69. n1c3. 1 look up 4nd s33 th4t th3y’r3 p4rt of wh4t looks l1k3 4 st4tu3 of… m3? 1 fly up to g3t 4 b3tt3r look. y34h, th1s 1s 4 st4tu3 of m3, w1ndsock p4j4m4s 4nd 4ll. wh4t 1s this pl4c3?  


1 r34ch out to touch th3 st4tu3, p3rpl3x3d by 1t, 4nd 4 tr1ll1on l1v3s flood 1nto my h34d, 4 c4cophony of vo1c3s spr1ng to l1f3, t4lk1ng 4t m3, 4t john. th3y r1s3 1n volum3 4nd t4lk ov3r on3 4noth3r, th3y 4ss4ult th3 s3ns3s, th3y pull my 4tt3nt1on 1n 3v3ry d1r3ct1on 4t onc3. 4 s1ngl3, qu13t, y3t cl34r comm4nd 1s spok3n through th3 ch4os, cutt1ng str41ght to m3 l1k3 butt3r.  


-> june: 4sc3nd

th3 vo1c3s c34s3, th3 41r go3s st1ll, 4nd th3n 1t mov3s f4st3r th4n b3for3. 4 cyclon3 of l1ght 4nd w1nd gusts out of m3 4nd s33m1ngly thr34t3ns to r1p out of control, but w1th 4 s1ngl3 word 1 qu13t 1t. 1'm mor3 1n control th4n 1'v3 3v3r b33n. 1 s33 now. 1 4m th3 br33z3. 1 4m th3 h31r. my n4m3 1s jun3 3gb3rt, 4nd 1 h4v3 4 w33b to dunk on.  


1 op3n my 3y3s 4nd t4ckl3 t3r3z1, hugg1ng h3r, k1ss1ng h3r, 4ll th3 th1ngs 1 couldn’t do outs1d3 my body 1 do now. to m4k3 up for lost t1m3. to m4k3 up for th3 w33ks 1’v3 b33n d34d. to m4k3 up for wh4t 1 4lmost lost.  


JUNE: god 1 fuck1ng lov3 you so much t3r3z1!!!  
JUNE: 1 f33l gr8!  
JUNE: uh, gr34t!  
JUNE: n4h fuck th4t no1s3 gr8 1t 1s!  
JUNE: 1 lov3 b31ng w1th you 4nd 1 lov3 mys3lf 4nd 1 don't th1nk 1'd h4v3 b33n 4bl3 to s4y th4t b4ck wh3n th1s 4ll st4rt3d.  
JUNE: but 1 r34lly do.  
JUNE: 1'm g1rl!  
JUNE: 1'm jun3!  
TEREZI: YOU'R3 JUN3  
TEREZI: 1T F33LS NIC3, HOLD1NG YOU  
TEREZI: L1V1NG 1S D3F1N1T3LY 4 GOOD LOOK ON YOU  
TEREZI: 4ND 1 TH1NK YOU'R3 MOR3 4L1V3 NOW TH4N YOU'V3 3V3R R34LLY B33N  
JUNE: 1 r34lly 4m tz!  
JUNE: 1'm d1ff3r3nt now too, pow3rful.  
JUNE: 1 th1nk 1 m1ght'v3 4ch13v3d th4t ult1m4t3 s3lf nons3ns3 th4t ros3 w4s t4lk1ng 48out.  
TEREZI: DO3S 1T F33L 4NY D1FF3R3NT? YOU KNOW, B3S1D3S TH3 POW3R?  
JUNE: 1... gu3ss 1 f33l  
JUNE: mor3 l1k3... m3?  
JUNE: l1k3 th3r3's just mor3 of m3 1n m3 4nd 1t k1nd4 f33ls r8d.  
JUNE: 1f 1 focus 1 c4n look 4t th3 d1ff3r3t l1v3s 1'v3 l1v3d, but 1 don't r34lly th1nk 1'm 1nt3r3st3d 1n th4t?  
JUNE: 1 w4nn4 m8k3 my own l1f3, 4nd 1 th1nk th3 f1rst st3p to th4t 1s gonn4 83 k1ck1ng th3 sh1t out of 4 w33b 4nd th3n r3tconn1ng th1s t1m3l1n3 84ck 1nto th3 dub1ously c4non1c4l h3ll 1t spr4ng forth from.  
JUNE: so wh4t do y4 s4y  
JUNE: you w4nn4 h3lp m3 834t up 4 n3rd?  



	3. 4 b3tt3r pl4n

JUNE: 4lr1ght wh4t do you th1nk tz?  
TEREZI: DO YOU 4CC3PT HUM4N CONSTRUCT1V3 CR1T1C1SM JUN3?  
JUNE: y34h.  
TEREZI: TH1S PL4N 1S TWO FUCKS SHORT OF 4 SURV1V1NG TROLL DUR1NG BUCK3T COLL3CT1ON.  
JUNE: th4t's not construct1v3 cr1t1c1sm.  
JUNE: 4lso 3w.  
TEREZI: DON'T PR3T3ND YOU DON'T F1ND 1T HOT.  
JUNE: 1 don't h4v3 to not pr3t3nd 4nyth1ng. :p  
TEREZI: SO YOU DO F1ND 1T HOT >:]  
JUNE: th4t's not wh4t 1 s41d! 1 just th1nk your m3t4phor is k1nd4 blunt 4nd wond3r why th3 fuck would th3r3 3v3n b3 4 s4y1ng l1k3 th4t 4bout your pl4n3t's s1mult4n3ously 1mp3rson4l y3t v3ry p3rson4l 4nd 3rot1c m3thod of popul4t1on growth.  
TEREZI: WOW TH4TS 4N 1NT3R3ST1NG TOP1C W1TH 4 LOT TO UNP4CK TH4T W3 DON'T H4V3 T1M3 FOR B3C4US3 4N 4FOR3M3NTION3D BRONY W1TH 4 SH1TTY SWORD COULD B3 L1ST3N1NG  
TEREZI: SO L3T'S TOSS TH4T LUGG4G3B1N 1N TH3 1NC1N3R4TOR WH3R3 1T B3LONGS, S4V3 TH3 FL1RT1NG FOR L4T3R, 4ND FOCUS ON M4K1NG 4 PL4N TH4T 1SN'T 4SS  
JUNE: w3ll wh4t do you sugg3st th3n s1nc3 you'r3 so good 4t pl4ns?  
TEREZI: 1 4M TH3 B3ST 4T PL4NS JUN3 YOU DON'T 3V3N KNOW  
TEREZI: F1RST OF 4LL GO1NG 1N TH3R3 M3T4PHOR1C4L 4ND L1T3R4L GUNS BL4Z1NG 1S 4 FUCK1NG T3RR1BL3 1D34  
TEREZI: 4L3RT1NG D1CK TO YOUR PR3S3NC3 W1TH 4N 4LL OUT 4N1M3 B4TTL3 PR1OR TO G1V1NG H1M 4 PROP3R JUST D34TH WOULD B3 D1S4ST3R  
TEREZI: YOU W4NT TO G3T R1D OF TH1S SH1TTY T1M3L1NE R1GHT?  
TEREZI: K1LL1NG H1M 4FT3R R3V34L1NG YOU SURV1V3D JUST G1V3S H1S P4ST S3LF 4 H34DS UP TH4T YOU'R3 PROB4BLY GO1NG TO TRY 4ND R3TCON TH1S WORLD  
TEREZI: 1 C4N 4LMOST GU4R4NT33 H3 W1LL B3 W41T1NG FOR YOU 1F YOU JUMP B4CK 4FT3R SHOW1NG YOURS3LF 4ND H3 W1LL NOT B3 H4PPY  
JUNE: how c4n you b3 so sur3?  
TEREZI: 1'M 4 S33R OF M1ND JUN3, KNOW1NG HOW CHO1C3S 4FF3CT T1M3L1N3S 1S L1T3R4LLY TH3 PR1M4RY US3 OF MY POW3RS  
JUNE: r1ght, sorry.  
TEREZI: 4POLOGY 4CC3PT3D  
TEREZI: 4NYW4YS, 1F W3'R3 GO1NG TO K1LL H1M, 1T N33DS TO B3 4 SURPR1S3 4TT4CK  
TEREZI: W3 N33D H1M TO D13 B3FOR3 H3 3V3N R34L1Z3S H3'S B33N K1LL3D  


T3R3Z1: 4ND W3 D3F1N1T3LY N33D TO DO 1T B3FOR3 H3 KNOWS YOU'R3 4L1V3 4G41N  
TEREZI: UNFORTUN4T3LY, TH1S 4LSO M34NS TH4T 4N 4TT4CK FROM R4NG3 WON'T WORK, H3'LL PROB4BLY R34L1Z3 TH3 4TT4CK 1S COM1NG THROUGH SOM3 M3T4N4RR4T1V3 BULLSH1T 4ND DO SOM3 SH1TTY N1NJ4 ST3P OUT OF TH3 W4Y B3FOR3 1T H1TS H1M  
TEREZI: 4ND YOU C4N'T US3 TH3 BR33Z3 4G41NST H1M B3C4US3 TH4T M4K3S NO1S3 *4ND* T3LLS H1M YOU'R3 4L1V3  
JUNE: 1'm h34r1ng 4 lot of c8n'ts tz.  
TEREZI: TH4TS B3C4US3 TH3R3 4R3 UNFORTUN4T3LY 4 LOT OF W4YS FOR TH1S 4SS4SS1N4T1ON TO GO TO SH1T R34LLY FUCK1NG F4ST  
TEREZI: DO YOU F33L CONF1D3NT 1N YOUR 4B1L1TY TO DO TH4T TH1NG WH3R3 YOU R3TCON SH1T TO H3R3 4ND NOW W1THOUT L34V1NG?  
JUNE: not r34lly, 1'm surpr1s3d 1 got 1t f1rst try w1th th3 l1f3 r1ng to b3 hon3st.  
TEREZI: TH3N 1'M 4FR41D YOU H4V3 TWO OPT1ONS  


TER3ZI: F1RST OPT1ON, 4LCH3M1Z3 4 R3MOT3LY D3TON4T3D NUK3 4ND BLOW H1M UP 4LONG W1TH TH1S SH1TTY SP4C3BO4T  
JUNE: wouldn't th4t k1ll ros3 too? 1 don't w4nt to k1ll h3r too.  
TEREZI: YOU H4V3 ON3 OPTION  
JUNE: 4nd th4t 1s?  
TEREZI: G3T GOOD  
TEREZI: PR4CTIC3 BR1NG1NG STUFF H3R3 W1TH YOUR R3TCON W1ND  
JUNE: 1s th4t r34lly th3 only opt1on?  
TEREZI: TH3 ONLY ON3 TH4T PROP3RLY S3RV3S OUR PURPOS3S 4ND K33PS ROS3 4L1V3, Y3S  
JUNE: hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhF1N3.  
JUNE: c4n you g1v3 m3 4 thought to 4nchor to?  
TEREZI: 1 THOUGHT YOU W3R3 PR4CT1C1NG BR1NG1NG STUFF H3R3 W1THOUT L34V1NG JUN3  
JUNE: th3r3 1s nowh3r3 n34r 3nough sp4c3 h3r3 to pr4ct1c3 br1ng1ng 4 ton of sh1t h3r3 4ll 4t onc3.  
JUNE: 4nd th3 only pl4c3 1 c4n th1nk of w1th 3nough room 1s outs1d3 c4non, wh3r3 1 took roxy 4nd low4s l1k3 7 y34rs 4go.  
TEREZI: TH4T'S F41R 3NOUGH  
TEREZI: 4LR1GHT G1MM3 4 S3COND TO TH1NK  
TEREZI:  
TEREZI:  
TEREZI:  
TEREZI: OK4Y TH3 THOUGHT 1S SH4D3S B1TCH  


1 DO TH3 M1NDY TH1NG 4ND M4K3 4 B34CON C4LL3ED SH4D3S B1TCH WH3N SUDD3NLY JUN3 4ND 1 Z4P 1N FRONT OF JUN3 4ND 1.  


TEREZI: YOU TOOK M3 W1TH YOU?  
JUNE: 1 gu3ss 1 would l1k3 4 l1ttl3 comp4ny wh1l3 1 pr4ct1c3, th4t pl4c3 1s k1nd4 lon3ly.  
TEREZI: JUN3 JUST W4NTS 4N 3XCUS3 TO M4K3OUT 4 BUNCH  
JUNE: th4t 1s n8t wh4t w3 d1d 8nd you know 1t!  
TEREZI: OH GOG 1 C4N SM3LL TH3 BLOOD ON YOUR L1PS TH4T 1S WH4T YOU TWO DID  
TEREZI: TOLD YOU  
JUNE: F8CK OFF  
TEREZI: 1T SM3LLS L1K3 TH4T W4S TH3 PL4N JUN3  
JUNE: oh my god th1s 1s g3tt1ng too confus1ng l3t's just go tz.  
TEREZI: 1F YOU 1NS1ST LOV3RG1RL >:]  
TEREZI: H4V3 FUN H3H3H3H3H3H3H3 >:]  


1 gr4b my t3r3z1’s 4rm 4nd z4p us out of th3r3 b3for3 th3 thr33 of th3m m4n4g3 to 3mb4rr4ss m3 to 4n 34rly d34th.  
“TH3M” SUR3 1S 4 FUNNY W4Y TO T4LK 4BOUT 4 GROUP 1NCLUD1NG YOURS3LF JUN3 WHO4 TH1S PL4C3 R34LLY 1S FUCK1NG 3MPTY  
1 THOUGHT P4R4DOX SP4C3 W4S B4D YOU 4ND 1 4R3 L1T3R4LLY TH3 ONLY TH1NGS OUT H3R3  
y34h no sh1t. w3 l1t3r4lly h4v3 4ll th3 sp4c3 w3 w4nt h3r3 wh1ch m4k3s 1t p3rf3ct for pr4ct1c1ng r3tconn1ng sh1t to us w1thout worry1ng 4bout sh1t p1l1ng up.  
OK4Y C4N YOUR F1RST T3ST B3 BR1NG1NG 4 M3T3OR OR SOM3TH1NG H3R3 TO ST4ND ON? UNL1K3 SOM3 CUT3 G1RLS 1 N3V3R GOD T13R3D 4ND GOT TH3 4B1L1TY TO FLY SO 1 4M L1T3R4LLY POW3RL3SS TO DO 4NYTH1NG OTH3R TH4N F4LL 1NTO YOUR GR4V1TY  
TH1S 1S NOT 4N 1RON1C 4TT3MPT 4T FL1RT1NG 1 4M LIT3R4LLY F4LL1NG TOW4RDS YOU 4S W3 TH1NK  
4lr1ght tz, just g1mm3 4 s3cond.  
“rock” 1 th1nk. “l4rg3 rock”.  
TRY 4 L1TTL3 FUCK1NG H4RD3R 3GGH34D  
TH4T R1NG ON YOUR F1NG3R ONLY M4K3S M3 MOR3 1NCL1N3D TO DO STUP1D D4NG3ROUS TH1NGS TO YOU B3C4US3 1 KNOW YOU WON’T D13 FROM 1T  
4lr1ght 4lr8! put 4w4y th3 s1ck 4ss c4n3 sword 1’m try1ng!  
1 focus 4 l1ttl3 h4rd3r wh1l3 s1d3 3y31ng my g1rl fr13nd. 1 th1nk 4bout th3 ru1ns of prosp1t, ly1ng on th3 b4ttl3f13ld. th3 f1rst t1m3 1 wok3 up. 1 try 4nd w1ll th3 br33z3 to mov3 for m3, to 3nc4s3 th3 gold3n moon 1n 4 m43lstrom of w1nd. 1 th1nk 1 c4n f33l 1t mov1ng. 1ts l1ft1ng som3th1ng h34vy. 1 sn4p my thoughts b4ck to h3r3 4nd now 4nOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoh for th3 lov3 of  
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOgog fuck1ng d4mOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO1 SURROUND TH3 FUCK1NG C4R HORN W1TH TH3 BR33Z3 4ND T34R 1T OUT OF TH3 P13C3 OF SH1T CR4SH3D C4R ok8 1ts qu13t now.  
TH1S W1LL DO FOR NOW JUN3  
SO 1S 4 C4R JUST YOUR PR3F3RR3D ROM4NT1C S3TT1NG?  
not th1s sh1t 4g41n.  
YOU M4K3 1T TOO 34SY  
1’ll h4v3 to m4k3 1t h4rd3r n3xt t1m3 th3n.  
w8...  
H3H3H3H3H3H3H3  
th4t w4sn’t!  
H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4  
t3r3z1!  
>:]  
> :]  
>:]  
> :]  
>:]  
> : 1 gr4b my g1rlfr13nd’s stup1d fuck1ng f4c3 4nd st4rt k1ss1ng th3 sh1t out of h3r b3c4us3 1f sh3 1sn’t gonn4 l3t m3 do 4ny s3r1ous th1nk1ng th3n w3 m1ght 4s w3ll do SOM3TH1NG product1v3.  
PRODUCT1V3 1S C3RT41NLY ON3 W4Y TO R3F3R TO TH1S  
god could w3 pl34s3 not ru1n 4 m4k3out s3ss1on w1th mor3 fl1rt1ng n4rr4t1on.  
fl1rr4t1on- OW!  
1 THOUGHT W3 W3R3N’T T4LK1NG JUN3  
your t33th 4r3 fuck1ng sh4rp.  
YOU LOV3 1T  
y34h.  


4 f3w hours l83r w3 g3t b4ck to wh4t w3 fuck1ng c4m3 h3r3 for 1n th3 f1rst pl4c3. t3r3z1, why don’t you p1ck 4 t4rg3t, 4nd 1 try my b3st to br1ng 1t h3r3? th4t w4y w3 know w3 4r3n’t fuck1ng up th3 t1m3l1n3 th4t l34ds to 34rth c 1n 4ny w4y wh1l3 w3 pr4ct1ce th1s sh1t.  
4N 3XC3LL3NT C4LL JUN3  
4LR1GHT TH3N, S3COND T3ST OF TH1S NOT 3X4CTLY N3W 4B1L1TY  
BR1NG M3… PYR4LSP1T3  
1sn’t th4t 4 fuck1ng dr4gon tz?  
TH3 OR1G1N4L W4S, Y3S, HOW3V3R 1’M 4SK1NG TH4T YOU BR1NG M3 ON3 TH4T 1S SM4LL3R, THOUGH NO L3SS F34RSOM3  
YOUR B34CON 1S… PYR4LSP1T3… 2!  
4lr1ght…   
1 gr4b onto t3r3z1’s h4nd for- wh4t why’d you t4k3 1t 4w8y?  
1 WON’T 4LW4YS B3 TH3R3 TO L1T3R4LLY HOLD YOUR H4ND, CR34T1NG B34CONS FOR YOU 1S PROB4BLY MOR3 TH4N 1 SHOULD DO 1F YOU W4NT TO B3 4BL3 TO R3L14BLY DO TH1S ON YOUR OWN 4NYW4YS  
f1n3.   
1 focus on uhh, pyr4lsp1t3… 2! 1 gu3ss, mov1ng th3 br33z3 wh3r3 4nd wh3n th1s 1d34 1s, 4nd pull b4ck 4s b3for3 4nd… t3r3z1 d1d you just m4k3 m3 br1ng you your f4vor1t3 stuff3d 4n1m4l?  
PYR4LSP1T3 4ND 1 4R3 4STOUND3D 4T YOUR HURTFUL 4CCUS4T1ONS JUN3  
wh4t3v3r 1’m gonn4 summon 4 s3cond on3 for mys3lf.  
MY SQU1SHY G1RLFR13ND SP3NDS TH3 N3XT F1V3 M1NUT3S SUMMON1NG PYR4LSP1T3S, SURROUND1NG US 4ND TH3 D3STROY3D MOTOR V3H1CL3 W1TH 4 SOFT BUT 4D3QU4T3 PROT3CT1V3 4RMY  
MOV1NG ON TO B34CON 3  
b34con 3?  
f8ck 1 forgot 1 c4n’t m4k3 fun of your qu1rk now.  
TH3 STOL3N RUBY SL1PP3R 1S ON TH3 OTH3R FOOT NOW, 1’D S4Y  
y34h y34h g3t on w1th 1t.  
TH13F OF S1GHT  
th3 h3ll 1s th4t suppos3d to br1ng h3r3?  
QU1T B31NG SUCH 4 COMPL41N3R B34ST  
th4t 1sn’t 3v3n 4 th1ng on 4lt3rn14.  
YOU’V3 N3V3R B33N YOU DON’T KNOW  
1 could go though.  


4lr1ght 1’m br1ng1ng 1t h3r3.  
vr1sk4’s gl4ss3s????????  
TRY TH3M ON  
why w3 prob4bly don’t 3v3n oh no w3 4ctu4lly do h4v3 th3 s4m3 pr3scr1pt1on th4ts k1nd4 fuck1ng w31rd but 1’ll t4k3 1t.  
w8 4r3 you gonn4 try to m4k3 m3 look l1k3 vr1sk4?  
SH3 4LR34DY TR13D TO DO 1T 10 Y34RS 4GO JUN3 WHY 1S 1T 4N 1MP3R14L FUCK1NG 1SSU3 WH3N 1 DO 1T? VR1SK4 1S 4 GOOD LOOK ON YOU  
1dk 1t just f33ls l1k3 you’r3 try1ng to r3pl4c3 h3r 1n your l1f3 w1th m3?  
DO YOU R34LLY TH1NK SH3 H4D YOU DR3SS L1K3 H3R JUST B3C4US3 SH3 H4D 4 CRUSH ON YOU?  
VR1SK4’S N3V3R 3X4CTLY THOUGHT H1GHLY OF H3RS3LF JUN3, SH3 W4S 1N 4 B4D PL4C3 4ND SH3 F3LT L1K3 SH3 COULD W1P3 OUT 3V3RYTH1NG SH3 F3LT GU1LTY 4BOUT BY…  
BY K1LL1NG H3RS3LF 1N 4 W4Y TH4T SOM3 STUP1D FUCK1NG CLOCK WOULD “OBJ3CT1V3LY” D33M H3RO1C 4ND R3PL4C1NG H3RS3LF W1TH 4 B3TT3R P3RSON  
SH3 THOUGHT YOU WOULD M4K3 FOR 4 B3TT3R H3R TH4N H3R, 4 L3SS CONTROV3RS14L H3R, ON3 TH4T D1DN’T G3T M4N1PUL4T3D BY 4 PUPP3T 4NT1 SJW 4ND H4V3 H3R L1F3 THR34T3N3D BY 4 G14NT SP1D3R ON TH3 D41LY 1F SH3 D1DN’T BR1NG 1T FR3SH CORPS3S OF OTH3R P3OPL3  
wo4h. th4t’s... 4 lot…  
Y34H JUN3, SH3 W4S  
1’m… sorry t3r3z1, 1 d1dn’t m34n to p1ck 4t old wounds.  
oh god 1 m8d3 you cry fuck 1’m sorry.  
j3sus sorry 1- fuck sorry  
f8ck f8c k fu8c 1 god now 1’m sh1 fuck 1m   
t3r3ez1 c com3 h3r3 pl34s 3   
LOOK 4T US JUN3  
4 COUPL3 OF FUCK1NG CRYW1GGL3RS  
JUST TWO D3PR3SS3D S3NS1T1V3 4SSHOL3S W33P1NG B3C4US3 4PP4R3NTLY N31TH3R OF US H4NDL3S T4LK1NG 4BOUT OUR F33L1NGS W3LL  
TH1S F33LS N1C3, HUGG1NG 4ND CRY1NG  
1F 1 W3R3 4 MOR3 S1NC3R3 P3RSON 1’D PROB4BLY DO 1T W4Y MOR3 OFT3N  
GOD YOU’R3 SW34TY  
sp34k *sniff* sp34k for yours3lf  
fuck mood sw1ngs hon3stly. 4r3 thos3 l1k3, 4 symptom of d3pr3ssion? th3y prob4bly 4r3.  
look 1’m r34lly sorry 48out br1ng1ng up th3 vr1sk4 f33l1ngs, 1 d1dn’t know… 4ll th4t, how sh3 f3lt, h3ll h4lf th3 t1m3 1 don’t know how 1 f33l.   
YOU’R3 F1N3 JUN3  
DO YOU W4NT TO P1CK TH3 N3XT TH1NG TO SUMMON?  
y34h, 1 th1nk… y34h.  
l3t’s try for som3 t34l l1pst1ck  
L4M3 4ND 1NS1GN1F1C4NT  
wh1ch should m34n 1t’s no probl3m br1ng1ng 1t h3r3, r1ght?  
SUR3, 1F YOU L1K3 B31NG BOR1NG  
BUT 1’LL OBL1G3, 1 GU3SS G3TT1NG 4 M4K3OV3R 1N 4 PL4C3 WH3R3 L1T3R4LLY TH3 ONLY TH1NGS TH4T 3X1ST 4R3 TH3 ON3S YOU BR1NG H3R3 1S 4S GOOD 4 W4Y TO TR41N 4S 4NY  
4nd th4t’s 3x4ctly wh4t w3 d1d, th3 n3xt h4lf 4n hour w4s sp3nt br1ng1ng m3 l1ttl3 th1ngs to ch4ng3 up my look 4nd 4lso th3 occ4s1on4l 1t3m t3r3z1 r3qu3st3d for 31th3r sn4cks or comfort. 4ft3r 1t w4s 4ll s41d 4nd don3 1 h4d gott3n n3w sho3s, my old gr33n vr1sk4 j4ck3t, and som3 3y3 m4k3up.  


h3y tz you w4nt to summon 4nyth1ng 3ls3 b3for3 w3 go b4ck? 1 th1nk 1 h4v3 4 h4ng on th1s now, h3ll 1 prob4bly won’t 3v3n n33d 4 834con!  
N4H 1 TH1NK 1’M- MY P4LMHUSK 1S BUZZ1NG H4NG ON 1’M G3TT1NG 4 T3XT  
ok4y, 1’m w81ng.  
VR1SK4?!  
1… gu3ss 1 could br1ng h3r h3r3? h3ll y34h 4ctu4lly l3t’s do th1s you sp3nt y34rs look1ng for h3r you two d3s3rv3 to 4t l34st t4lk to on3 4noth3r 4g41n! 1 focus my thoughts on vr1sk4, comb1n1ng my knowl3dg3 of h3r w1th th3 1nfo t3r3z1 told m3 34rl13r, 1 summon 4 g4l3 4round th3s3 1d34s 1n my m1nd 4nd JUN3 1 W4SN’T T4LK1NG TO YOU 1 W4S S4Y1NG 1 GOT 4 T3XT FRO-  


BL4CK  
SUG4RY  
S1CK3N1NG  


(VRISKA): WH8 THE HELL 8RE YOU DOING JOHN PUT M8 TH8 F8CK D  


Z8p  
oh gog 1 don’t f33l so good 1’m gonn4 HURGH 1 th1n- blsadlkjklalj  
th4t d1d not f33l good 4t 4ll  
on th3 br1ght s1d3 vr1sk4 1s… oh, cov3r3d 1n vom1t  


vr1sk4 1s st4r1ng 4t m3  
1’m st4r1ng 4t h3r  
sh3’s st8r1ng 4t m3  
1’m st4r1ng 4t h3r  
sh3 s33s t3r3z1’s 4rm 4round my shoulder 4nd not1c3s my n3w look  


(VRISKA): What  
(VRISKA): The F8CK  
(VRISKA): Is going on here?  


1 summon 4 s3t of p4p3r tow3ls 4nd g3t to work cl34n1ng my l4ck of 4ny m34ls for prob4bly 4 f3w w33ks off of h3r.  


JUNE: wh4t do you w4nt to know vr1sk4?  
JUNE: sorry 48out vom1t1ng on you by th3 w8y.  
(VRISKA): Exactly what I asked J8hn!!!!!!!!  
(VRISKA): WHAT THE H8LL 8S G-  
TEREZI: 1TS JUN3 NOW  
(VRISKA): WH8?  
TEREZI: YOU C4LL3D MY G1RLFR13ND JOHN, SH3'S JUN3 NOW, VR1SK4  
(VRISKA): YOU L8FT ME 8N R8D FOR 8 Y34RS JUST TO T8KE M3 T8 8 PL8NE OF LITER8L NOTH8NGNESS T8 TELL ME YOU GOT 8 G8RLFR88ND!?!?!?!?  
TEREZI: 1 JUST GOT YOUR T3XT R1GHT B3FOR3 JUN3 BROUGHT YOU H3R3!  
(VRISKA): Well why didn't she try to 8ring me here sooner th8n 8 fucking ye8rs! I had to help win a fucking w8r against J8ne fucking Crocker 8ecause she didn't t8ke me here sooner!  
JUNE: 1 th1nk... w3r3n't you 1n c4ndy? 1 m34n w3r3n't you on 4 v3rs1on of 34rth c 1ns1d3 4 bl4ck hol3?  
TEREZI: JUN3 TH3R3 4R3 M4NY FUCK3D UP TH1NGS 4BOUT TH4T S3NT3NC3 YOU JUST S41D  
JUNE: wh4t 1'm g3tt1ng 4t 1s th4t 1 don't th1nk th1ngs 4r3 r34lly... suppos3d to 3sc8p3 from th4t pl4c3.  
JUNE: 1 w4s t3chn1c4lly 4bl3 to r34ch 1n th3r3 4nd t4k3 you out 8ut... 1 th1nk 1f 1 just t3l3port3d 1n 1'd b3 stuck th3r3 for good, l1k3 th3 oth3r v3rs1on of m3 th4t's 4lr34dy th3r3.  
JUNE: 1 th1nk th3 bl4ck hol3 k1nd4 f8ck3d w1th my t1m1ng 4nd 1 ov3rshot 8y 8 y34rs.  
JUNE: th4t 4lso prob4bly 3xpl41ns why 1t f3lt so fuck1ng b4d 8r1ng1ng you h3r3.  
(VRISKA): You know what m8kes sense out of everything you just said, June?  
JUNE: wh4t, vr1sk4?  
(VRISKA): Not a single goddamn thing.  


t3r3z1 4nd vr1sk4 h4v3 4 c4tch up conv3rs4t1on, m34nwh1l3 sh3 4nd 1 t4lk m3nt4lly.  
wh4t 4r3 w3 gonn4 do now? w3 c4n’t just l34v3 h3r h3r3, but sh3 w4sn’t w1th futur3 us wh3n w3 z4pp3d b4ck! com3 to th1nk of 1t 1 w4sn’t w34r1ng th1s g3tup wh3n w3 z4pp3d b4ck.  
Y3S YOU W3R3  
no 1 w4sn’t.  
JUN3 YOU W3R3 LOOK1NG 4T M3 WH3N TH3Y Z4PP3D TH3R3 4ND TH3N YOU SHUT YOUR 3Y3S OUT OF SH4M3  
so you just kn3w 1 w4s go1ng to 3nd up look1ng l1k3 th1s?  
1 KN3W YOU WOULD 1 JUST W4SN’T 1MM3D14T3LY 4W4R3 OF TH3 SP3C1FICS  
YOU 4R3 CORR3CT 4BOUT TH3 VR1SK4 1N TH3 ROOM, HOW3V3R  
1 H4V3 NO CLU3 WH4T TO DO 4BOUT H3R  
SH3 1S 4N UNPL4NN3D 3L3M3NT  
4ND D1RK W1LL 4LMOST C3RT41NLY NOT1C3 H3R PR3S3NC3 1N SUCH CLOS3 PROX1M1TY TO H1M ON 4 SH1P W1TH ONLY 4 P3OPL3  
1 c4n just s3nd h3r to wh3r3 w3’ll m33t n3xt though, r1ght?  
how 48out l1k3, r1ght 4ft3r 1 l3ft to f1ght 3ngl1sh?  
TH4T’S NOT 4 B4D 1D34, BUT W3 SHOULD PROB4BLY RUN 1T BY H3R F1RST  
f41r po1nt.  


JUNE: 4lr1ght vr1sk4, so curr3ntly, w3'r3 pl4nn1ng on k1ll1ng 4 sh1tty w33b, you m3t h1m 84ck on th3 l1lyp4d, r3m3mb3r? po1nty sh4d3s 4nd 4 sh1tty sword?  
JUNE: h3's r3spons1bl3 for k1ll1ng m3 4nd throw1ng you 1nto th4t bl4ck hol3, lott4 good r34sons for g1v1ng h1m 4 just d34th, b3l13v3 m3.  
JUNE: unfortun8ly, you c4n't b3 th3r3 th1s t1m3 b3c4us3 h3'd r34l1z3 you w3r3 th3r3 1n 4 s3cond, but you w1ll g3t 4 ch4nc3 to fuck h1m up l4t3r.  
JUNE: 1'll s3nd you to 34rth c, th3 on3 1 l3ft b3h1nd, 4nd 1 prom1s3 you t3r3z1 4nd 1 w1ll b3 r1ght b3h1nd you, sound good?  
(VRISKA): Yeah sure.  
JUNE: wow th4t w4s w8y l3ss conv1nc1ng th4n 1 f1gur3d you'd n33d.  
(VRISKA): I had to get used to 8eing the secondary Vriska and not 8eing in the spotlight for 8 years June, on top of helping win a war.  
(VRISKA): If you s8y I'm gonna get a chance for revenge, I'll 8elieve you, 8ut I'm not as rearing for a fight as I was 8 years ago and I understand that you need me somewhere else to help this plan work.  
JUNE: m4n, you'v3 r34lly ch4ng3d ov3r 8 y34rs, huh? th3 s4m3 8ut d1ff3r3nt?  
(VRISKA): S8me to you w1ndsock.  
JUNE: you r34dy to go th3n?  
(VRISKA): As I'll ever 8e.  


1 send vr1sk4 b4ck to 34rth c, w1th th3 thought “m34t”, 4nd th3n 1 z4p t3r3z1 4nd 1 b4ck 1nto c4non w1th “sh4d3s b1tch” 4nd th3n h4v3 4 conv3rs4t1on th4t w3’v3 4lr34dy b33n ov3r.  


4ft3r th3 p4st v3rs1ons of us z4p 4w4y w3 h34r footst3ps. sh1t sh1t sh1t 1 h1d3 out of s1ght 4nd  


I approach the room where I’ve graciously allowed Terezi to stay and go to knock at the  


TEREZI: J3GUS D1RK WOULD YOU G1V3 TH3 MONOLOGU1NG 4 FUCK1NG R3ST, WH4T DO YOU W4NT?  


Terezi that’s quite a hostile tone to take with your host. I believe you will find that as hosts go, I am simply the best there is.  


TEREZI: BL4H BL4H BL4H G1V3 M3 TH3 3XPOS1TION DUMP SO W3 C4N QU1T T4LK1NG 4LR34DY  


If you insist, I simply figured you could use a friendly face before I invited you to the bridge.  


TEREZI: 1'LL B3 TH3R3 1N 5, JUST GO 4H34D W1THOUT M3 4ND HOLD YOUR FUCK1NG HORS3S  


I take her curt answer and make my way down to the bridge, we have big plans for this planet.  


ok8y 1 th1nk h3’s gon3.  
HOW TH3 FUCK D1DN’T H3 S33 YOU?  
1 don’t know, 1 don’t th1nk w3 r34lly h4v3 t1m3 to f1nd out 31th3r! 1t sounds l1k3 som3th1ng b1g 1s h4pp3n1ng 4nd 1ts pr3tty much now or n3v3r on k1ll1ng h1m!  
1 KNOW  
wh4t should 1 summon? wh4t’ll k1ll h1m f4st 3nough?  
1 DON’T KNOW JUN3 1-  
TH3 TUMOR  
th4t th1ng 1 took out of th3 b4ttl3f13ld?  
ON3 OF TH3M, TH3 4LPH4 TROLLS H4D ON3 TOO, 1’M W1LL1NG TO B3T TH4T OUR B4TTL3F13LD 4LSO H4D ON3, 1T’S PROB4BLY ON3 OF TH3 F3W CONST4NTS 1N TH3 G4M3!  
1F YOU C4N G3T TH4T TUMOR 4ND SUMMON 1T D1R3CTLY B3H1ND H1M TH3 1NST4NT B3FOR3 1T BLOWS UP 1 TH1NK YOU M1GHT JUST K1LL H1M B3FOR3 H3 C4N R34L1Z3 H3’S D34D  
l3t’s do 1t th3n.  


w3 rush to th3 br1dg3, 4nd 1 h4v3 t3r3z1 w41t just outs1d3 1n c4s3 th1s go3s south. ros3bot 1s st4nd1ng 4t th3 controls 4nd d1rk 1s 4cross th3 room, r1ght up 4g41nst th3 obs3rv4t1on scr33n.  
now or n3v3r…  
1 focus b4ck to th3 trolls, to th3 t4l3s 1 h34rd of th31r s3ss1on, to th3 b4ttl3f13ld th3y l3ft wh3n th3y 3sc4p3d on th3 m3t3or.  
th3 t1m3r 1s count1ng down.  
10  
9  
8  
7  
6  
5  
4  
3  
2  
1  
r1ght b3h1nd h1m.  
th3r3 1s no z4p, no pop 1nto 3x1st3nc3 4nd w41t1ng. th3 3xplos1on of th3 trolls’ tumor 1s s1mult4n3ous w1th 1ts 4rr1v4l. d1rk l13s d34d on th3 ground. 1 don’t n33d to h34r th3 d4mn clock to know wh4t 1t judg3d h1m. 4s 4 cont1ng3ncy, so th1s j4n3 c4n’t br1ng h1m b4ck or 4nyth1ng, 1 z4p h1s corps3 1nto th3 sun. 4s for ros3, 1 f1gur3 th3r3’s no po1nt l34v1ng h3r 4lon3 h3r3. 1 surround h3r w1th w1nd 4nd z4p h3r b4ck to h3r f4m1ly on 34rth c.  


1 l34v3 th3 room.  
f8ck th4t w4s 1nt3ns3!  
YOU’R3 T3LL1NG M3  
gog 1 n33d 4 m1nut3 to c4lm down. should 1 summon us som3th1ng to 34t?  
4BSOLUT3LY  
1’v3 4lw4ys w4nt3d to try wh4t4burg3r, d4v3 us3d to r34lly t4lk th4t pl4c3 up. you f33l1ng burg3rs?  
1 DON’T S33 WHY NOT  
sw33t.  


w3 s1t th3r3 1n s1l3nc3 for 4 wh1l3, just 34t1ng.  
w4s th1s th3 r1ght d3c1s1on?  
DO3S 1T M4TT3R 4T TH1S PO1NT?  
k1nd4? 1 f33l l1k3 w3 m4y h4v3 just st4rt3d som3th1ng w3 4r3n’t pr3p4r3d to h4ndl3.  
TH1S W4S ST4RT3D LONG B3FOR3 NOW, 4S F4R 4S 1 C4N T3LL 4LL W3 JUST ST4RT3D W4S TH3 P4TH TO F1N1SH1NG 1T  
D1RK W4S ON TH3 CL1FF’S 3DG3 S1NC3 B3FOR3 YOUR 23RD B1RTHD4Y, H3 JUST M4D3 TH3 L34P SOM3T1M3 SHORTLY 4FT3R YOUR CHO1CE  
H3 CONV1NC3D H1MS3LF TH4T W3 N33D3D TO ST4Y R3L3V4NT 4ND TH4T TH3 W4Y TO DO TH4T W4S BY 4UTHOR1NG SH1TTY FR13NDF1CT1ON W1TH 4 BODYCOUNT  
1F YOU TH1NK W3 C4N SOM3HOW T4K3 H1M B4CK FROM TH4T 3DG3 WH3N W3 G3T B4CK TO 34RTH C, B3 MY GU3ST  
BUT 1T’D B3 4 H3LL OF 4 LOT 34S13R 4ND S4F3R FOR 3V3RYON3 1F W3 JUST K1LL3D H1M  
but l1k3, 1s 1t r1ght? to do th4t?  
JUN3, H3 MURD3R3D YOU, H3 HURT OUR FR13NDS, H3’S B3COM3 3V3RY B1T 4S SH1TTY 4S 3NGL1SH W4S, 4ND 1F YOU L3T H1M GO 4FT3R H3’S M4D3 TH4T D3C1S1ON TH3N W3’R3 LOOK1NG 4T 4 LOT WORS3 TH4N WH4T H4PP3N3D TH1S T1M3  
YOU 31TH3R N33D TO G3T TH3R3 4ND CONV1NC3 H1M TO 4VO1D B3COM1NG H1S SH1TTY UND3RST4ND1NG OF TH3 ULT1M4T3 S3LF 4S F4ST 4S POSS1BL3  
OR W3 K1LL H1M  
THOS3 4R3 OUR OPT1ONS  
L1K3 TH3M OR NOT  


1 l3t t3r3z1’s sp33ch w31gh 1n my m1nd, th3n 1 r1s3 up 4nd off3r h3r my h4nd. sh3 t4k3s 1t, 4nd 1 r3tcon us 4w4y from th1s god fors4k3n t1m3l1n3.  



End file.
